Only Mildly Sacrilegious

My father always gives me cryptic advice
I wrestled an alligator. I done tustled with a whale. I done handcuffed lightning and thew thunder in jail. Only last week I murdered a rock, injured a stone, hospitalized a brick; I’m so mean I make medicine sick. I’m a bad dude and fast too. Last night I cut the light off in my bedroom, hit the switch, and was in the bed before it was dark. Fast. And you, George Foreman, all of you chumps are gonna bow when I whoop him, all of you. I know you got him picked, but the man’s in trouble.
Imma show you how great I am.

I wrestled an alligator. I done tustled with a whale. I done handcuffed lightning and thew thunder in jail. Only last week I murdered a rock, injured a stone, hospitalized a brick; I’m so mean I make medicine sick. I’m a bad dude and fast too. Last night I cut the light off in my bedroom, hit the switch, and was in the bed before it was dark. Fast. And you, George Foreman, all of you chumps are gonna bow when I whoop him, all of you. I know you got him picked, but the man’s in trouble.

Imma show you how great I am.

(via gyllenhawl)

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    Imma show you how great I am.
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    I wrestled an alligator. I done tustled with a whale. I done handcuffed lightning and thew thunder in jail. Only last...
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    happy birthday .
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